I've recently been given the opportunity to try out one of Firespiral slings' upcoming releases; Night's Watch Cyano Charters Moss. For those who aren't familiar with the Firespiral brand, they're a small company run by 2 mums, with all wraps designed, woven and finished in the North of England, using a variety of carefully sourced … Continue reading Wrap review: Firespiral Night’s Watch Cyano Charters Moss
"I'm going to Camden tomorrow to meet some people I met online. I've never met them in real life, but we talk all the time and know everything about each other." As the words casually fell from my mouth over dinner on a Friday night, I briefly thought of how my husband might react if … Continue reading Carry on London 2019 – a fispi adventure
Disclosure is the beginning of what can be a very difficult conversation. Don't stop telling the incredible woman in front of you that they're amazing, that they're worthy of love, that they're a good mum. Hold space for them and really listen, without judging, trivialising or making it about you. Be present while they cry, sit with them in silence, just keep the space open for them to speak into.
My theory; there’s a deeply rooted, primal, primate instinct at play which, while probably useful for cave women, doesn’t gel with the expectations on modern mothers. The instinct is to think twice before leaving your baby with someone who seems just a little too keen for you to do so. While women stealing each others’ babies is incredibly rare, there are examples dating back to the Judgement of Solomon and before. Do I really think my cousin is going to steal my baby just because she wants to babysit? No, of course not. Can I turn off the primal instinct that gets triggered in this situation? Also, no.
It took me a LONG time to recognise, after the birth of my son, that I was mentally unwell. To me, as to many, postnatal mental illness was synonymous with postnatal depression. Postnatal depression meant being miserable and unattached to your baby. I was neither of those things. For the most part, I was really … Continue reading Maternal Mental Illness: The Narrow Path
So what's my problem? My problem is not what is there. It's what's missing. It seems like when the majority of well wishers look at this picture, they see the baby, and they see the grandparent. But I see what's just out of shot. I see a new mum who may well have been in labour for 2 days. I see a woman whose life has just been completely transformed.
It's the nature of parenting, and of life, that we and our children will be ahead of the curve in some areas and behind it in others. In fact, far from all keeping pace along the same race track, it's totally OK to journey not only at your own pace but along your own path. My friends might be at different points, on different paths, but we can still share in each other's journeys.